The Winooski

The Winooski

Locally Sourced Organic Vermont Satire

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Month: September 2019

Bernie Sanders Narrows Down Possible VP Picks to Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Guy Fieri

September 30, 2019 The Winooski 2

BURLINGTON – Vermont’s very own political celebrity Bernie Sanders brought two more big names to the state this month as he held meetings to narrow […]

Syrup & Cows #121 – 9/29/19 – New Beach

September 29, 2019 The Winooski 0

Image Credits: Connor Byam.

Short-Staffed VT Restaurants Offering New Ways For Diners to Pay For Meals

September 28, 2019 The Winooski 0

WATERBURY – With the state’s unemployment rate at dangerously low numbers, many Vermont restaurants are finding it difficult to find enough employees to stay open. […]

Satire Site Searches For Leak After Confidential Ideas Are Used By White House

September 27, 2019 The Winooski 1

WINOOSKI – Local satire website The Winooski is interviewing employees after several sensitive documents were seemingly leaked from private company servers. The documents contained many […]

6 in UVM Egyptology Department Convicted of Plotting Pyramid Scheme

September 26, 2019 The Winooski 0

BURLINGTON – Six professors in the University of Vermont Egyptology department have been convicted of duping students out of cash using a pyramid scheme. A […]

Trump Threatens to Withhold Foreign Aid to Nancy Pelosi Unless She Stops the Impeachment Proceedings

September 25, 2019 The Winooski 0

WASHINGTON – Temporary US President Donald Trump has threatened to withhold foreign aid from House Speaker Nancy Pelosi unless she immediately cancels impeachment proceedings against […]

Breaking: Out of State Visitors Coming Next Week, Everybody Be Cool

September 24, 2019 The Winooski 0

GRAFTON – Reports are breaking out all over the state that out of town guests will be visiting Vermont beginning next week, presumably to view […]

Burlington Birdwatchers Discover Rare Silver-Crested Walkcrosser

September 23, 2019 The Winooski 1

BURLINGTON – A group of birdwatchers in Burlington discovered a previously unknown type of metallic bird this week after using sensitive listening devices to track […]

Syrup & Cows #120 – 9/22/19 – Seasonal Change

September 22, 2019 The Winooski 0

Image Credits: Connor Byam.

Chester Resident Wins Award For Quilt Made Of Darn Tough Socks, Tries to Return Quilt to Darn Tough For Refund

September 21, 2019 The Winooski 0

CHESTER – The Billings Farm and Museum Quilt Exhibition was won this year by a quilt entitled “Darned Tough,” made entirely of Darn Tough brand […]

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