Release: The Winooski Lays Off Only Employee
WINOOSKI – Vermont’s premiere local satire site The Winooski has been forced to lay off its only employee. Media organizations across the state have been […]
Articles by The Winooski
After 15 Years of Talking About It, Colchester Family Finally Plants Home Garden
COLCHESTER – “You know, this just seemed like the year to do it,” said Dee Layre as she dug a small trench with her trowel. […]
Researchers Split Over Whether We Will See More Babies or Divorces in 9 Months
LYNDON – Researchers at Northern Vermont University have produced two wildly different predictions for social outcomes at the end of the current period of isolation. […]
Syrup & Cows #147 – 3/29/20 – Social Distancing
Image Credits: Connor Byam.
4th Grader With Magic Lamp Claims No Responsibility for Schools Shutting Down
MIDDLETOWN SPRINGS – After Vermont Governor Phil Scott ordered all schools in the state shuttered for the remainder of the school year, many in the […]
Local Hoarder Takes Fictional Water Shortage Very Seriously
BURLINGTON – H.T. Oats started storing water after reading a Facebook post from a real doctor (of literature, not medicine, but still a smart guy) […]
Texas Governor Issues First Boomer Hunting Permits
AUSTIN – At the urging of Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick, the state of Texas will issue its first ever hunting licenses to anyone wishing to […]
Vermont DMV Concerned Over Increased Auto-Immune Systems
MONTPELIER – Health care providers are encouraging Vermonters to exercise and walk more to bolster their auto-immune systems while isolated in their homes. DMV Director […]
South Canada Considers Closing Its Borders
SOUTH CANADA – South Canadian President Charlene “Skunk” Bedard announced this morning that she is considering closing the borders of the tiny country to foreign […]
Syrup & Cows #146 – 3/22/20 – Hoarding
Image Credits: Connor Byam.