The Winooski

The Winooski

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Articles by The Winooski

Wizard Community Accuses Middlebury Quidditch Team of Cultural Appropriation

October 6, 2018 The Winooski 0

BURLINGTON – The Middlebury College sports community was stunned this week when accusations of cultural appropriation were leveled against the school’s quidditch team. Representatives from […]

Burlington Parking Officer Waits on Corner to Ticket Drivers Before They Leave Their Vehicles

October 5, 2018 The Winooski 1

BURLINGTON – It’s not always a popular job, but writing parking tickets is an important one, according to traffic officer Hugh Jasshat. Jasshat prides himself […]

White House to Text New U2 Album To All U.S. Citizens This Afternoon

October 3, 2018 The Winooski 0

WASHINGTON DC – In a partnership that President Trump is calling “the best partnership in the history of America ever,” the White House will be […]

South Canada to Celebrate First Independence Day Two Months Late

October 2, 2018 The Winooski 0

SOUTH CANADA – The nation of South Canada voted to officially secede from the United States on Tuesday, August 8th of 2017, as reported by The […]

Trump Redraws US-Canada Border

October 1, 2018 The Winooski 0

WASHINGTON – During meetings with Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau this week, US President Donald Trump negotiated a new border definition between the two nations. […]

Syrup & Cows – #069 – Charge ‘n’ Tolls

September 30, 2018 The Winooski 0

Image Credits: Connor Byam.

Vermont Stores Holding Huge Bump Stock Clearance Sales This Weekend

September 29, 2018 The Winooski 0

WATERBURY – Vermont gun owners can enjoy deep discounts on certain supplies this weekend, as almost every gun and ammunition shop in the state is […]

Judge Annuls Kavanaugh Marriage After Ashley Kavanaugh Shows No Wedding on Her Calendar

September 28, 2018 The Winooski 2

WASHINGTON DC – A federal judge yesterday annuled the wedding of Brett and Ashley Kavanaugh when the former Mrs. Kavanaugh produced a calendar from 2004 […]

State Mental Health Programs Now Overseen By Vermont Agency of Transportation

September 27, 2018 The Winooski 0

MONTPELIER – After criticism over its handling of the looming mental health crisis in the state, the Vermont State Department of Mental Health has been […]

Grafton Opens New Foliage Hiking Area For Nudists Called “Peepers Trail”

September 26, 2018 The Winooski 0

GRAFTON – If you’re a leaf-peeper who enjoys peeping at more than just leaves, you may be interested in visiting the new “Peepers Trail” in […]

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Recent Posts

  • Texas Legislature Passes Emergency “Don’t Say Gun” Law May 25, 2022
  • Burlington Announces New High School To Be Built at 1 North Avenue August 19, 2021
  • Syrup & Cows #207 – 5/24/21 – First Day Back May 24, 2021
  • Syrup & Cows #206 – 5/16/21 – The Search Continues May 16, 2021
  • Syrup & Cows #205 – 5/9/21 – Unrecognizable May 9, 2021

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