Alpine Shop Unable to Open For Business As Employees Embrace Slogan
SOUTH BURLINGTON – The owners of The Alpine Shop, located on Williston Road in South Burlington, have had to close their doors after every one […]
Burlington
Burlington Approves Commercial Buildings as Residences in Attempt to Increase Housing
BURLINGTON – After 20 years of dwelling at the Aubuchon’s in South Burlington, Kant Reed is excited to move back to downtown Burlington to dwell in […]
Vermont Air Guard Now Tasked With Retrieving Tony Stark
SOUTH BURLINGTON – News leaked this week that American hero Tony Stark has been stranded in space after a catastrophic mission failure, leading to a […]
Vermont Sets Early Record For Number of Days of Complaining About Snow
SOUTH BURLINGTON – The National Weather Service branch located at the Burlington Intranational Airport has released data for the month of November showing a record number […]
BTV Seeks to Boost Revenues With In-State Commuter Flights
SOUTH BURLINGTON – Now that Burlington Intranational Airport (formerly Burlington INTERnational Airport) no longer offers seasonal service to and from Toronto, BTV bigwigs are considering another […]
BTV Changes Name to “Burlington Intranational Airport”
SOUTH BURLINGTON – With the loss of its only international flight, the Burlington International Airport, located in South Burlington, is being forced to change its […]
Burlington City Council OKs Unlimited Delays to Mall Project
BURLINGTON – Don’t expect construction to start on CityPlace Burlington this spring. Or this winter. Or next summer. Or even next fall. This was the message […]
Church Street Marketplace to Be Replaced With Time Travel Facility
BURLINGTON – On the heels of the collapse of the City Place project, Burlington City Council has approved demolition of Church Street Marketplace, to be […]
Burlington Residents Consider New Options For Giant Gaping Downtown Hole
BURLINGTON – The Burlington Free Press reported this morning that it had conducted a whimsical poll about what to do about the empty construction site […]
Democrats Planning to Win Election Without Voting
WINOOSKI – Members of the Democratic party in Vermont are so confident that they are going to sweep the upcoming election that they have decided […]