The Winooski

The Winooski

Locally Sourced Organic Vermont Satire

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Cheating the System: When VT Outlawed Weed-Gifting, this Innovative Smoke Shop Started a Cannabis Yankee Swap

July 28, 2018 Connor Batsimm 2

SOUTH BURLINGTON – Last Monday, Vermont’s Attorney General T.J. Donovan was a total narc and made it illegal for businesses to provide their customers with free […]

COTS Switches Focus From Temporary to Permanent Housing, Re-brands as COPS

July 25, 2018 The Winooski 1

BURLINGTON – The Committee on Temporary Shelter (COTS) has traditionally focused on short-term solutions to the larger issue of homelessness by providing day stations, shelters, […]

Driver on Rte. 7 South Can’t Decide Between Lane With Bus or Lane With Tractor

July 24, 2018 The Winooski 0

SOUTH BURLINGTON – A driver heading south on Route 7 in South Burlington today became flustered after a bus in their lane slowed to a […]

Local Satire Site Unfairly Shut Out of “Seven Days” Awards Process

July 23, 2018 The Winooski 2

BURLINGTON – Once again famed local Vermont satire site The Winooski has been shut out of the annual “Seven Daysies” awards presented by the Seven Days newspaper organization. […]

Vermont Public Radio Adds Signage for Visitors and Staff Who Don’t Know What a Hallway Is

July 21, 2018 The Winooski 0

COLCHESTER – Vermont Public Radio completed their new building construction in 2016 and moved into the extension to great fanfare from their publicity department. Guests […]

Burlington Panhandlers to Begin Accepting Debit Cards

July 19, 2018 The Winooski 0

BURLINGTON – Starting next week, all panhandlers in Chittenden County will be accepting debit cards as a payment method when asking strangers for spare change. […]

Trump Pardons Ted Bundy, Claims FBI Evidence “Not Reliable”

July 17, 2018 The Winooski 3

WASHINGTON DC – US President Donald Trump has posthumously pardoned a large number of convicted criminals this week, including Burlington, VT born serial killer Ted […]

Burlington City Council Aims to Ban Plastic Straws, Replace Them With Cereal Straws

July 14, 2018 The Winooski 1

BURLINGTON – With rising pressure from consumers to ban single-use plastic items, the Burlington City Council is planning to introduce a new measure that would […]

Low Turnout For LGBTQA+ Sloth Parade

July 13, 2018 The Winooski 1

BURLINGTON – A parade this week celebrating LGBTQA+ Sloth had a very low number of marchers as a few lonely participants trudged their way down […]

STUDY: Fireworks Look Better On Mobile Devices

July 5, 2018 The Winooski 0

BURLINGTON – A survey of attendees at the annual Independence Day Fireworks Show on Burlington’s waterfront concluded that 86% of people prefer to look at […]

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Recent Posts

  • Texas Legislature Passes Emergency “Don’t Say Gun” Law May 25, 2022
  • Burlington Announces New High School To Be Built at 1 North Avenue August 19, 2021
  • Syrup & Cows #207 – 5/24/21 – First Day Back May 24, 2021
  • Syrup & Cows #206 – 5/16/21 – The Search Continues May 16, 2021
  • Syrup & Cows #205 – 5/9/21 – Unrecognizable May 9, 2021

Recent Comments

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  • Robert on Six Weird Vermont Laws You Have to Read to Believe
  • Hugh Kidden on Burlington Announces New High School To Be Built at 1 North Avenue
  • Randy Fullam on Burlington Announces New High School To Be Built at 1 North Avenue

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