Vermont Cows Call For Ice Cream Boycott
SOUTH BURLINGTON – Eleven cows from a local dairy farm are picketing the Ben & Jerry’s Vermont headquarters calling for an immediate boycott on all […]
Burlington
Dihydrogen Monoxide Contamination in Lake Champlain
COLCHESTER – A new study released this week confirms that Lake Champlain is severely contaminated with dihydrogen monoxide, and likely has been for some time. […]
Burlington School Board Eliminates Teachers Entirely, Asks City for 300 Robots
BURLINGTON – The Burlington School Board has asked the city for a bond of $12M to aid in the purchasing of up to 300 teaching […]
Hypocritical Buses Promote Seatbelts as Passengers Flounce Unrestrained
BURLINGTON – In a bizarrely passive aggressive move by Green Mountain Transit, many Chittenden County buses are now displaying messages that read “Seatbelts Save Lives,” […]
UVM to Provide Hi-Tech Shades for Short-Sighted President
BURLINGTON – According to leaked classified documents, the University of Vermont Medical Center may be announcing a collaboration between its Department of Ophthalmology and The […]
Lake Monsters Promotional Giveaway Causes Confusion
BURLINGTON – Centennial field became a temporary junkyard Sunday evening as fans confused over the evening’s special promotion tried to drop off bins and boxes […]
Tornado Drops House of Kansas Republican Onto Burlington
BURLINGTON – In a freak twist of nature, a tornado swept across the country this week, carrying debris from as far away as New Mexico […]
Vermonters Claim 2024 Eclipse Will Be Much Better Than This One
RANDOLPH – Perhaps a little green with envy in the Green Mountain state, Vermonters spent the day of the Great American Eclipse of 2017 looking forward […]
Thousands of Oil and Coal Lobbyists Flood Vermont In Eclipse Counter-Protest
BURLINGTON – Representatives from dozens of fossil fuel companies began arriving in Vermont’s largest city this weekend, including lobbyists from ExxonMobil, BP, and Peabody Energy. […]
Lone Nazi Wanders Charlotte After Misreading Alt-Right E-mail
CHARLOTTE – It was a lonely and confusing weekend for white supremacist Raymond Cyst. After misreading an e-mail sent out to his various alt-right hate […]