Burlington Police Passing Out “Essential Person” Wristbands
BURLINGTON – In an effort to differentiate between those who are not in violation of essential activity in the Queen City, police are issuing blue […]
Burlington
Local Hoarder Takes Fictional Water Shortage Very Seriously
BURLINGTON – H.T. Oats started storing water after reading a Facebook post from a real doctor (of literature, not medicine, but still a smart guy) […]
Burlington Finally Solves Parking Problem
BURLINGTON – Residents of Vermont’s largest city are reporting a sudden wealth of parking spaces all around the downtown area, after years of complaining that […]
Burlington Free Press Sees Sudden Spike in Print Subscriptions
BURLINGTON – Local newspaper Burlington Free Press is struggling to understand what has caused the recent jump in print subscriptions, vs. online only readership. Subscriptions […]
Bernie Supporter Looks to Expand Base By Harassing Elizabeth Warren Voters
WILLISTON – Supporters of Bernie Sanders are working tirelessly to expand the senator’s base of support by harassing people online and in person. The Winooski […]
After School Bond Fails To Pass, South Burlington Hoping to Host Olympics to Pay For New Sports Facilities
SOUTH BURLINGTON – Voters overwhelmingly rejected South Burlington’s $200M+ school bond this week, leaving school officials looking for other ways to fund the needed projects […]
Burlington Mayor Accused of Parking Gas Car in “Mayor Only” Parking Spot
BURLINGTON – Still feeling the backlash from his City Market “Bag Scandal,” Burlington Mayor Miro Weinberger is now suffering another political blow, after someone photographed […]
Burlington Mayor Accused of Accepting Plastic Bag at City Market
BURLINGTON – Another scandal has hit the Queen City this week, after multiple witnesses report seeing Burlington Mayor Miro Weinberger leaving City Market with a […]
Transgender Agenda Revealed to Be Blank Piece of Paper
BURLINGTON – A mild controversy arose this week after the Fletcher Free Library agreed to allow a feminist group to meet about combating the transgender […]
Burlington Mayor Threatens to Replace Acting Police Chief With Someone Even Worse if Officer Morale Does Not Improve
BURLINGTON – Faced with increasingly low morale in the department, Burlington Mayor Miro Weinberger has informed the officers of the BPD that they had better […]