Progressives Stage Massive Write-In Campaign
MONTPELIER – In a strategic move that some are calling brilliant, while others are scratching their heads over, the Progressive party in Vermont has chosen […]
Montpelier
Phil Scott Drops Out of Governor Race, Endorses Ethan Sonneborn
MONTPELIER – In a shocking move that surprised even his inner circle, Vermont Governor Phil Scott has dropped out of the gubernatorial race and has […]
State Government Loses Internet, Accidentally Gets Things Done
MONTPELIER – All of Vermont’s state government went without internet access yesterday after a fiber optic cable was accidentally severed, eliminating access to all state […]
Black Bear to Run Against Gov. Scott in Primary
WARREN – A black bear by the name of Teeth Grrrrn has emerged to challenge Vermont Governor Phil Scott as a late entry in the […]
Vermont Stepping Up Interstate Border Enforcement
MONTPELIER – Vermont, in an effort to Make Itself Great Again, has closed its borders. No, not the one to Canada. “Those guys are great” […]
Protesters At Lost Nation Theater – “Our Nation is Not Lost!”
MONTPELIER – A crowd of protesters gathered outside of a performance of Lost Nation Theater‘s Twelfth Night this weekend, holding signs reading “Our Nation Is Not […]
Winner Crowned On “Vermont’s Next Top Model”
MONTPELIER – After many rounds of competition, grueling interviews, skimpy swimsuits, and maple syrup-drinking contests, a winner has finally been crowned as Vermont’s “Next Top […]
Governor Vetoes Measure That Would Provide Dihydrogen Monoxide Detectors to All Vermonters
MONTPELIER – After the shocking reports last year of dihydrogen monoxide contamination in Lake Champlain, the Vermont Senate began work on a bill that would […]
Evangelical Christians Advocate for Mowing Down Jaywalkers
BARRE – Police have begun investigating a series of traffic near misses between vehicles and pedestrians that have been occurring over the past several weeks […]
Emergency Case of Summer Confirmed by Government
MONTPELIER – Vermonters were thrust into emergency mode late Friday afternoon. It was as unexpected as it was frightening. “I was out spreading manure,” said […]