Comedy Writers Sue Reality For Stealing Their Material
WINOOSKI – After years of grumbling and complaining, the writers of Vermont’s premiere satire site The Winooski have filed a lawsuit against reality claiming the theft […]
National
Vermont Air Guard Now Tasked With Retrieving Tony Stark
SOUTH BURLINGTON – News leaked this week that American hero Tony Stark has been stranded in space after a catastrophic mission failure, leading to a […]
Clinton, Sanders, Reportedly Hoping to Repeat Biggest Failures of Their Lives
WASHINGTON – Former Presidential hopefuls Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders are both considering another failed run at the presidency in 2020. according to sources inside […]
Fans Believe Stan Lee May Be Trapped in the Soul Stone
NORTHFIELD – The world lost a legend and a giant in the realm of entertainment yesterday, with the passing of Stan Lee at the age […]
President Changes Position on Non-Consensual Physical Contact
WASHIGNTON DC – In a stunning reversal of his previous position, US President Donald Trump has announced that he no longer believes men should be […]
The Winooski’s Official Guide to the Statewide Candidates in the 2018 Election
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As you head to the polls today, those of you not waiting smugly at home for your victory, you may encounter some names on the […]
Experts Confirm Kanye West and Taylor Swift Involved in “Freaky Friday” Situation
A team of doctors and psychologists have confirmed what many have suspected over the past week: rapper Kanye West and singer Tayor Swift have switched […]
White House to Text New U2 Album To All U.S. Citizens This Afternoon
WASHINGTON DC – In a partnership that President Trump is calling “the best partnership in the history of America ever,” the White House will be […]
Trump Redraws US-Canada Border
WASHINGTON – During meetings with Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau this week, US President Donald Trump negotiated a new border definition between the two nations. […]
Judge Annuls Kavanaugh Marriage After Ashley Kavanaugh Shows No Wedding on Her Calendar
WASHINGTON DC – A federal judge yesterday annuled the wedding of Brett and Ashley Kavanaugh when the former Mrs. Kavanaugh produced a calendar from 2004 […]