AG Jeff Sessions Sues Vermont Maple Industry
WASHINGTON, DC – Attorney General Jeff Sessions is suing the State of Vermont Maple Industry, alleging the state’s proprietary claims violate Federal Law. “This is […]
National
Donald Trump Performs Entirely Satirical State of the Union Address
WASHINGTON, DC – The nation was treated to an exceptional performance of political satire on Tuesday evening by U.S. President Donald Trump, who used his […]
Men’s Rights Activists Furious Over Lack of Inclusion in Best Actress Category
DUMMERSTON – After Tuesday morning’s announcement of the 2018 academy award nominees, men’s rights activists took to the internet to express their outrage over the […]
MLK Day Celebrations Put on Hold, Citing Lack of Social Progress
WINOOSKI – Several events set to focus on the legacy of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. were postponed today in Vermont, as organizers struggled to […]
Vermont’s Only Nuclear Button Measurer Finally Gets the Call
RYEGATE – Although many Americans have expressed concern over the president’s latest controversial tweet, one Vermont business is breathing a sigh of relief as they […]
Vermont GOP Stands Behind Roy Moore, Because That’s the Non-Penis Side
DANVILLE – Vermont Republican National Committeewoman Suzanne Butterfield has made a statement of support for accused pedophile Roy Moore in the special election that will determine […]
Pope’s Change to “The Lord’s Prayer” Has Ripple Effect on Society
VATICAN CITY – Pope Francis has opened the floodgates with his recommendation of changes to the “The Lord’s Prayer”. The Pope says we should drop […]
Vermonters No Longer Required to Pay Federal Taxes
WASHINGTON, D.C. – In an unusual case of a major tax reform bill being pushed through Congress before anyone could read it, many Americans are […]
North Korean Missile Misses Vermont By Only 6000 Miles
PYONGYANG – Many Vermonters are putting bunkers on their Christmas lists this season after a North Korean missile missed the state by less than 6000 […]
Bernie Sanders Probably Going to Win in 2020, Turns Down Presidency in Advance
WASHINGTON, D.C. – With every poll showing Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders as the clear front-runner in the 2020 presidential race, the congressman has decided to […]