USDA Threatens to Pulls Funding From Vermont Over Animal Sanctuaries
WASHINGTON – In a strongly worded letter sent to the state of Vermont and to several towns including East Burke, Springfield, and Woodstock, the United […]
National
U.S. Senate Unanimously Confirms Vermont’s Next U.S. Attorney, Saul Goodman
WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a rare moment of bi-partisan unity, the U.S. Senate has confirmed in a unanimous vote that the next U.S. attorney for […]
Politicians Make Political Statement Asking Not to Politicize Latest Tragedy
MONTPELIER – A group of Vermont politicians, political lobbyists, and political activists have joined together with White House counselor Kellyanne Conway in releasing a highly politicized press […]
Donald Trump Apologizes For Recent Tweet, Thought it Was Opposite Day
WASHINGTON, D.C. – U.S. President Donald Trump has, in a very surprising move, apologized for something. Some of his recent tweets, he claims, were meant […]
Vermont Moves to Deregulate Highways
WATERBURY – In a move to woo the support of the state’s libertarians and teenage drivers, VT. Secretary of Transportation has announced the deregulation of Vermont’s […]
Only Decent Man On the Internet Finds it Hard to Believe that All Women Have Been Harassed
SWANTON – Chris Virtue has had a rough week. After hundreds of thousands of reports of women being sexually harassed or assaulted began flooding the […]
DNA Results Save Dog From Deportation
HINESBURG – A five-year old psychotherapy dog from Louisiana was spared the ignominy of deportation to a dog-rescue shelter in Vermont on Tuesday, when DNA […]
Congressman Welch Introduces Bill to Make Puerto Rico Count as America
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Vermont Congressman Peter Welch introduced new legislation yesterday to the U.S. House of Representatives that would force Americans to admit that Puerto […]
UVM to Provide Hi-Tech Shades for Short-Sighted President
BURLINGTON – According to leaked classified documents, the University of Vermont Medical Center may be announcing a collaboration between its Department of Ophthalmology and The […]
Department of Homeland Security Enlists Aid of Vermont Newspapers to Build Mexican Paywall
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Several Vermont newspapers have been asked this week to assist the Department of Homeland Security in the construction of the border wall […]