Local Students Attempt to Run Mock Trial Without Calling Any Witnesses
BOLTON – As the Senate contemplates whether to call witnesses in the impeachment trial of Temporary President Donald Trump, local teacher Peach Imm has also […]
Vermont Life
Scientists Searching for Elusive Drinking Straw that Biodegrades Sometime Between 20,000 Years, 2 Minutes
MARSHFIELD – Researchers at Designs Unlimited Marshfield (DUM) say they are close to a breakthrough in their quest to design a drinking straw that will […]
Hinesburg Fence Viewer Announces Candidacy For Cemetery Commissioner
HINESBURG – A wave of candidacy announcements has swept Hinesburg after the local fence viewer resigned in preparation for his run for cemetery commissioner. Bill […]
Vermont Ends All Wind Energy Projects, Moves Toward Cow Fart Energy
HOLLAND – With announcement that the Dairy Air Wind turbine will no longer be developed, Vermont currently has no wind energy projects in the works. […]
All Children Safe After Most Recent Yeti Attack
MORETOWN – No children were injured after a yeti picked up the school bus they were riding on and threw it into a ditch on […]
Governor Offers Prince Harry and Meghan Markle $10,000 Each to Move to Vermont
MONTPELIER – The prize money for moving Vermont has gone down to only $7500, but that didn’t stop Governor Phil Scott from offering $10,000 each […]
Vermont Once Again Shut Out of Best Director Category
WINOOSKI – When the 92nd annual Academy Award nominations were announced this morning, there was no cry of shock when the best director contenders were […]
New England Applies for Federal Disaster Relief Funds After Patriots Knocked Out
BOSTON – The six states that make up New England, two or three of which you might have heard of, have jointly applied to the […]
Lone Commenter Unable to Convince Internet That Satire Article is Not Real
WINOOSKI – Despite his best efforts, lone internet commenter Steve M. was unable to convince any of the other commenters that the satire post they […]
ICE Deports Several Robot Milking Machines Back to Cybertron
GLOVER – Immigration Customs and Enforcement (ICE) agents have raided a farm in Glover, VT after receiving an anonymous tip that illegal aliens were being […]