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Trump Threatens to Withhold Foreign Aid to Nancy Pelosi Unless She Stops the Impeachment Proceedings

September 25, 2019 The Winooski 0

WASHINGTON – Temporary US President Donald Trump has threatened to withhold foreign aid from House Speaker Nancy Pelosi unless she immediately cancels impeachment proceedings against […]

Breaking: Out of State Visitors Coming Next Week, Everybody Be Cool

September 24, 2019 The Winooski 0

GRAFTON – Reports are breaking out all over the state that out of town guests will be visiting Vermont beginning next week, presumably to view […]

Burlington Birdwatchers Discover Rare Silver-Crested Walkcrosser

September 23, 2019 The Winooski 1

BURLINGTON – A group of birdwatchers in Burlington discovered a previously unknown type of metallic bird this week after using sensitive listening devices to track […]

Syrup & Cows #120 – 9/22/19 – Seasonal Change

September 22, 2019 The Winooski 0

Image Credits: Connor Byam.

Chester Resident Wins Award For Quilt Made Of Darn Tough Socks, Tries to Return Quilt to Darn Tough For Refund

September 21, 2019 The Winooski 0

CHESTER – The Billings Farm and Museum Quilt Exhibition was won this year by a quilt entitled “Darned Tough,” made entirely of Darn Tough brand […]

Local Climate Denier Breaks Down and Joins Climate Strike After Sweating a Little

September 20, 2019 The Winooski 0

BURLINGTON – Jacob Toose has always scoffed at the notion that the planet is warming at a dangerous level, despite 100% confirmation from all scientists […]

Pirates Hijack F-35s Before Burlington Arrival

September 19, 2019 The Winooski 0

SOUTH BURLINGTON – A group of sky pirates, possibly acting in conjunction with local protesters, has boarded and taken control of two F-35 fighter jets […]

Controversial Aunt Jemima Creemees No Longer Available

September 18, 2019 The Winooski 0

RICHMOND – Jim Eyma, owner of “The Steemee Creemee” in Richmond, will no longer be making his controversial “Aunt Jemima Creemees.” The flavor, which he […]

Trump Announces Vigorous Defense of Saudi Arabia, “They were with us after 9/11, in fact a number of them were on the planes”

September 17, 2019 The Winooski 1

WASHINGTON – President Trump announced this week that he will bring to bear all of the military might the US can muster to support Saudi […]

Vermont Prepares to Cash in On Autumn

September 16, 2019 Jill Allen 0

BURLINGTON – Several state organizations are hoping for windfalls of money as the season changes. In the event that climate change prevents Vermont from drawing […]

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Recent Posts

  • Texas Legislature Passes Emergency “Don’t Say Gun” Law May 25, 2022
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  • Syrup & Cows #206 – 5/16/21 – The Search Continues May 16, 2021
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