Feline Street Gangs Menace Southern Vermont
BRATTLEBORO – It’s hard to survive as a vagrant in Vermont, and no one knows that better than Vermont’s strays. “After a gang of feral […]
Vermont, Wisconsin Governors Embark on National Campaign to Promote Lactose Tolerance
MADISON, WI – Although no longer governor of Wisconsin, Scott Walker’s legacy will live on through a program he secretly developed with Vermont Governor Phil […]
Montpelier Police Detain “Armed” Man
MONTPELIER – In the wake of the Capitol Complex in Montpelier experiencing a lockdown because an “armed man” was seen entering a State Building, local […]
Satire Writers Take Labor Day Off, Refuse to Wr
WINOOSKI – Despite very clear orders from their editor, the writers of Vermont’s premiere local satire site The Winooski have refused to finish any articles […]
Syrup & Cows #117 – 9/1/19 – Meetings
Image Credits: Connor Byam.
Vermont Asks All Women to Leave State for VP’s Weekend Visit
SOUTH BURLINGTON – Vice President Mike Pence’s plane landed at Burlington International Airport Friday morning, and the Secret Service requested that all the women in […]
UVM’s Plan To Introduce Live, Free-Range Catamounts on Campus
BURLINGTON – With the Federal government defanging the laws that protect endangered species across the US, local feline enthusiast and philanthropist Kitty Katz has a […]
Brookfield Purchases Burlington Rail Line, Renames it “CityTrench”
BURLINGTON – Brookfield Asset Management, the company responsible for the creation of Burlington’s beloved downtown pit, is planning a second project that could rival the […]
Citing Declining Readership Outside of Other Sections, Times-Argus Becomes Obituary-Only Newspaper
BARRE – The Barre-Montpelier Times-Argus has switched formats and will now publish only the obituary section of the newspaper. While other stories will appear on […]
Trump Vows to Nuke Hurricanes and Make Atlantis Pay For It
WASHINGTON – US President Donald Trump is firing back against reports that he claimed he would use nuclear weapons to protect the country from hurricanes. […]