Present Delivery Largely Unaffected By North Pole Shutdown
NORTH POLE – Children all over the world were relieved this morning to find presents under their trees, as the North Pole enters into day […]
Foreign Press
Santa Claus Under Probation For Attempting to Deliver Over 600 Pounds of Marijuana
NORTH POLE – Federal authorities confirmed this week that they have raided a compound at the North Pole belonging to Kristopher Kringle, better known throughout […]
Putin Accuses Vermont Satire Site of Meddling in Russian Affairs
WINOOSKI – The Russian government has launched an investigation into an American website after Vladmir Putin accused the site of meddling in Russian affairs. Vermont […]
Plattsburgh Tourism Drops 78% Overnight
PLATTSBURGH – The city of Plattsburgh, NY has reported a startling decline in the number of tourists visiting from out of state. The number of […]
Canadian Border Agents Caught Consuming Confiscated Contraband
QUEBEC – When travelling from the U.S. to Canada, and vice versa, certain items cannot pass between borders for fear of bringing contagion. Many of these […]
Carolinians Accuse Vermonters of “Hurricane Privilege”
RALEIGH – Residents of both North and South Carolina have been accusing Vermonters of having “Hurricane Privilege” this week after people in the Green Mountain […]
Joffrey Baratheon Aquitted of all Crimes, Jury Declares “He Was Only 17”
KINGS LANDING – Mutiple individuals have come forward over recent months, claiming that they were sexually assaulted, tortured, beheaded, or otherwise attacked by Joffrey Baratheon, […]
Phish Opens Alpharetta Show with Extended Performance of “Tweezer,” Still in Progress
ALPHARETTA, GA – Vermont’s grooviest export, the band Phish closed down their three-night run at Verizon Wireless Amphitheater just outside of Atlanta, GA on Sunday […]
Larry David to Run for Bernie Sanders’ Senate Seat
BROOKLYN – In a move that experts are calling “pretty, pretty, pretty good,” Brooklynite comedian Larry David has announced his bid for the Vermont senate […]
Groundhog Day Moved to March 2nd
PUNXSUTAWNEY – It has been a long time coming, but officials have finally bowed to public pressure and moved the date of Groundhog Day one […]