VT Delegation Opposes Dolores Umbridge as SCOTUS Nominee
WASHINGTON DC – Vermont’s delegation in Washington had some harsh words for U.S. President Donald Trump’s pick for the Supreme Court position soon to be […]
National
America Holds Last Independence Day Celebration Before Second Civil War
RUTLAND – Vermonters all across the state joined in with millions of Americans to celebrate the final birthday of what had been known as the […]
Trump Administration Issues Deportation Order for Von Trapp Family
STOWE – After what officials are calling a “thorough citizenship examination” of the prominent Von Trapp family who emigrated to Vermont after fleeing the Nazis […]
Larry David to Run for Bernie Sanders’ Senate Seat
BROOKLYN – In a move that experts are calling “pretty, pretty, pretty good,” Brooklynite comedian Larry David has announced his bid for the Vermont senate […]
STUDY: Women’s Heist Films Receive 73% of Cast Compared to Men’s Heist Films
MONTPELIER – A new study released by independent Vermont think tank Ethan Allen Institute revealed that, on average, women’s heist films are receiving only up […]
Nazis Leaving America for Canada, Declare “Mission Accomplished”
SWANTON – U.S. customs officials are reporting an unusually large number of self-identifying Nazis crossing the border into Canada in recent weeks. When asked about […]
Entire State of Vermont Added to California Primary Ballot in Printing Error
SACRAMENTO, CA – In a devastating printing error, the names of every registered voter in the state of Vermont were added to the rolls in […]
Americans Spend Day Honoring Fallen Heroes by Desecrating Flag
WINOOSKI – Vermonters joined the millions of Americans today in a disrespectful and shameful celebration of those who gave their lives defending the freedoms that […]
Super Troopers Coming to Broadway in 2019
MANHATTAN, NY – The Richard Rogers Theater on W 46th street in Manhattan has announced plans to premiere a new Broadway musical based on the […]
NRA Hires Actors to Accuse Gun Violence Survivors of Being Actors
FAIRFAX, VA – In a bizarre twist of reality, The Winooski has discovered evidence that the National Rifle Association (NRA) has been paying actors to attend […]