Vermont Residents Accused of Cat-Calling Sunset
SOUTH BURLINGTON – Authorities in South Burlington are stepping up efforts to reduce cat-calling after complaints from the sunset that several people made unwanted remarks […]
Vermont Life
Canadian Border Agents Caught Consuming Confiscated Contraband
QUEBEC – When travelling from the U.S. to Canada, and vice versa, certain items cannot pass between borders for fear of bringing contagion. Many of these […]
Headline Writers Unable to Form Complete Sentences
WINOOSKI – Group of headline writers attempt to write body of article. Writers omit numerous verbs, articles, prepositions. Editors unhappy with staff headline writers. “Article […]
Costco Employees Fired After Mistakenly Putting Out Halloween Display in October
COLCHESTER – Two Costco employees were fired today after accidentally putting out a display of Halloween-themed items over the weekend. The display included costumes, candy, […]
Wizard Community Accuses Middlebury Quidditch Team of Cultural Appropriation
BURLINGTON – The Middlebury College sports community was stunned this week when accusations of cultural appropriation were leveled against the school’s quidditch team. Representatives from […]
Lake Champlain Merpeople Contract With Local Wheelchair Vendor to Buy Land Vehicles
“In the wake of the editorial found by Ethel Merman, I was really surprised that a representative from Champlainia Merstate stopped by so quickly to […]
Trump Redraws US-Canada Border
WASHINGTON – During meetings with Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau this week, US President Donald Trump negotiated a new border definition between the two nations. […]
Vermont Stores Holding Huge Bump Stock Clearance Sales This Weekend
WATERBURY – Vermont gun owners can enjoy deep discounts on certain supplies this weekend, as almost every gun and ammunition shop in the state is […]
VT Department of Corrections Announces New Plan To Transfer Out-of-State Prisoners to Azkaban
WILLISTON – After an official inquiry by the Joint Legislative Justice Oversight Committee regarding treatment and transfer of out-of-state prisoners, Vermont’s Department of Corrections has announced […]
Carolinians Accuse Vermonters of “Hurricane Privilege”
RALEIGH – Residents of both North and South Carolina have been accusing Vermonters of having “Hurricane Privilege” this week after people in the Green Mountain […]