Canadian Border Agents Caught Consuming Confiscated Contraband
QUEBEC – When travelling from the U.S. to Canada, and vice versa, certain items cannot pass between borders for fear of bringing contagion. Many of these […]
Headline Writers Unable to Form Complete Sentences
WINOOSKI – Group of headline writers attempt to write body of article. Writers omit numerous verbs, articles, prepositions. Editors unhappy with staff headline writers. “Article […]
Costco Employees Fired After Mistakenly Putting Out Halloween Display in October
COLCHESTER – Two Costco employees were fired today after accidentally putting out a display of Halloween-themed items over the weekend. The display included costumes, candy, […]
Syrup & Cows #070 – 10/7/18 – A Vermont Fairy Tale
Image Credits: Connor Byam.
Wizard Community Accuses Middlebury Quidditch Team of Cultural Appropriation
BURLINGTON – The Middlebury College sports community was stunned this week when accusations of cultural appropriation were leveled against the school’s quidditch team. Representatives from […]
Burlington Parking Officer Waits on Corner to Ticket Drivers Before They Leave Their Vehicles
BURLINGTON – It’s not always a popular job, but writing parking tickets is an important one, according to traffic officer Hugh Jasshat. Jasshat prides himself […]
Lake Champlain Merpeople Contract With Local Wheelchair Vendor to Buy Land Vehicles
“In the wake of the editorial found by Ethel Merman, I was really surprised that a representative from Champlainia Merstate stopped by so quickly to […]
White House to Text New U2 Album To All U.S. Citizens This Afternoon
WASHINGTON DC – In a partnership that President Trump is calling “the best partnership in the history of America ever,” the White House will be […]
South Canada to Celebrate First Independence Day Two Months Late
SOUTH CANADA – The nation of South Canada voted to officially secede from the United States on Tuesday, August 8th of 2017, as reported by The […]
Trump Redraws US-Canada Border
WASHINGTON – During meetings with Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau this week, US President Donald Trump negotiated a new border definition between the two nations. […]