The Winooski

The Winooski

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Burlington

Dating Sites Add New Categories as Social Restrictions Begin to Lift

May 7, 2020 The Winooski 0

BURLINGTON – Speed dating events, and other singles’ mingles have been put on hold during the “stay home – stay safe” era, but after yesterday’s […]

The State of the City of Burlington 2025

April 18, 2020 The Winooski 1

BURLINGTON – Yesterday, Mayor Sanders issued an upbeat report on the state of the city. After five years the Great Pandemic seems to be over. […]

Cases of Internet Hypnosis Soar in Vermont

April 13, 2020 The Winooski 0

BURLINGTON – Thousands of homebound Vermonters are complaining of sore eyes, lack of rest and frustration with internet postings like this one. The director of […]

Burlington Police Passing Out “Essential Person” Wristbands

April 8, 2020 The Winooski 0

BURLINGTON – In an effort to differentiate between those who are not in violation of essential activity in the Queen City, police are issuing blue […]

Local Hoarder Takes Fictional Water Shortage Very Seriously

March 26, 2020 The Winooski 0

BURLINGTON – H.T. Oats started storing water after reading a Facebook post from a real doctor (of literature, not medicine, but still a smart guy) […]

Burlington Finally Solves Parking Problem

March 17, 2020 The Winooski 2

BURLINGTON – Residents of Vermont’s largest city are reporting a sudden wealth of parking spaces all around the downtown area, after years of complaining that […]

Burlington Free Press Sees Sudden Spike in Print Subscriptions

March 13, 2020 The Winooski 3

BURLINGTON – Local newspaper Burlington Free Press is struggling to understand what has caused the recent jump in print subscriptions, vs. online only readership. Subscriptions […]

Burlington Mayor Accused of Parking Gas Car in “Mayor Only” Parking Spot

February 14, 2020 The Winooski 3

BURLINGTON – Still feeling the backlash from his City Market “Bag Scandal,” Burlington Mayor Miro Weinberger is now suffering another political blow, after someone photographed […]

Burlington Mayor Accused of Accepting Plastic Bag at City Market

January 29, 2020 The Winooski 2

BURLINGTON – Another scandal has hit the Queen City this week, after multiple witnesses report seeing Burlington Mayor Miro Weinberger leaving City Market with a […]

Transgender Agenda Revealed to Be Blank Piece of Paper

January 27, 2020 The Winooski 3

BURLINGTON – A mild controversy arose this week after the Fletcher Free Library agreed to allow a feminist group to meet about combating the transgender […]

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Recent Posts

  • Texas Legislature Passes Emergency “Don’t Say Gun” Law May 25, 2022
  • Burlington Announces New High School To Be Built at 1 North Avenue August 19, 2021
  • Syrup & Cows #207 – 5/24/21 – First Day Back May 24, 2021
  • Syrup & Cows #206 – 5/16/21 – The Search Continues May 16, 2021
  • Syrup & Cows #205 – 5/9/21 – Unrecognizable May 9, 2021

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