The Winooski

The Winooski

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Month: November 2017

U.S. Senate Unanimously Confirms Vermont’s Next U.S. Attorney, Saul Goodman

November 10, 2017 The Winooski 1

WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a rare moment of bi-partisan unity, the U.S. Senate has confirmed in a unanimous vote that the next U.S. attorney for […]

Canada Sues South Canada Over Country Name, Quickly Apologizes

November 9, 2017 The Winooski 0

SOUTH CANADA – The country of Canada has filed a suit against its tiny neighbor to the south, claiming that South Canada does not have […]

Democrats Sweep National Elections on Pro-Vermont Platform

November 8, 2017 The Winooski 0

MONTPELIER – Vermont Democrats, and even their Republican Governor Phil Scott, are praising the results of yesterday’s national elections as a positive referendum on the […]

Burlington City Council Banquet Cancelled After Councillors Unable to Choose Main Course

November 7, 2017 The Winooski 1

BURLINGTON – An awards banquet hosted by the Burlington City Council was postponed indefinitely after the 12 councilors were unable to come to a decision […]

Politicians Make Political Statement Asking Not to Politicize Latest Tragedy

November 6, 2017 The Winooski 0

MONTPELIER – A group of Vermont politicians, political lobbyists, and political activists have joined together with White House counselor Kellyanne Conway in releasing a highly politicized press […]

VT Yankee Sale Delayed After Potential Buyer Revealed to Be Lex Luthor

November 6, 2017 The Winooski 0

VERNON – Federal Regulators this week extended the deadline on a decision regarding the sale of Vermont’s decommissioned nuclear power plant to New York-based corporation […]

Syrup & Cows #022 – 11/5/17

November 5, 2017 The Winooski 0

Image Credits: Connor Byam.

Vermonters Complain Apocalyptic Thor: Ragnarok is “Too Realistic”

November 4, 2017 The Winooski 0

WILLISTON – As Marvel Studios’ latest film races to the top of the box office this weekend, many local movie-goers are complaining that the film […]

Costco Banned From Selling Gas, Fills New Pumps With Maple Syrup

November 3, 2017 The Winooski 21

COLCHESTER – After years of negotiations and major construction that disrupted their parking lot traffic significantly, Costco’s Colchester location has been prevented from filling their […]

Donald Trump Apologizes For Recent Tweet, Thought it Was Opposite Day

November 2, 2017 The Winooski 0

WASHINGTON, D.C. – U.S. President Donald Trump has, in a very surprising move, apologized for something. Some of his recent tweets, he claims, were meant […]

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