The Winooski

The Winooski

Locally Sourced Organic Vermont Satire

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Articles by The Winooski

Sixteen-Year-Old Madison James Becomes South Canadian Speaker of the House

September 28, 2017 The Winooski 1

SOUTH CANADA – As South Canada continues to fine-tune its system of government, an unlikely leader has emerged in the form of high school junior […]

Church Street Struggles to Cope With Entire Protest-Free Day

September 27, 2017 The Winooski 0

BURLINGTON – Business owners on Church Street were left struggling yesterday after the cancellation of the “March For Justice” organized by civic group “Vermonters For […]

Local Evangelical Churches to Begin Hosting Dungeons and Dragons Games

September 26, 2017 The Winooski 0

WINOOSKI – Several area churches have teamed up in a new campaign to get a more diverse crowd through their doors. The pastors have started […]

Vermont Cows Call For Ice Cream Boycott

September 25, 2017 The Winooski 0

SOUTH BURLINGTON – Eleven cows from a local dairy farm are picketing the Ben & Jerry’s Vermont headquarters calling for an immediate boycott on all […]

Syrup & Cows #016 – 9/24/17

September 24, 2017 The Winooski 0

Image Credits: Connor Byam.

Woman Acquitted of Assaulting Guest Who Touched Her Thermostat

September 23, 2017 The Winooski 0

HALIFAX – A woman in southern Vermont was acquitted yesterday of assaulting a houseguest who turned up the thermostat to 70 degrees. Astrid Kyligt of […]

Vermont Bears Draft Manifesto Challenging New Hunting Rules

September 22, 2017 The Winooski 0

JERICHO – Vermont bears are in the news again today after yet another administrative tussle with the state’s Department of Fish and Wildlife. This latest ursine uprising […]

Vermont Increases Bridge Funding as Troll Population Grows

September 21, 2017 The Winooski 1

STOWE – Many towns and cities across the state of Vermont are increasing their budgets this fiscal year in the areas of bridge construction and […]

Vermont Legislature Blocks Toys “R” Us Filing for Bankruptcy Protection

September 20, 2017 The Winooski 0

MONTPELIER – The Vermont legislature called an emergency session of the General Assembly on Tuesday following the announcement by big box toy retailer Toys “R” […]

Hillary Clinton Spotted in Vermont with South Canadian Secretary of Defense

September 19, 2017 The Winooski 0

SAINT ALBANS – Former U.S. Secretary of State and presidential nominee Hillary Clinton was spotted in St. Albans this past weekend on the arm of […]

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Recent Posts

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