Local Satire Site Completely Sells Out
WINOOSKI – Vermont satire site The Winooski has announced that it has sold its soul to new corporate overlords at VTDigger.org and will now provide content […]
Vermont Life
Vermont Girl Trapped in Store after Maplefields Runs Out of Jeezum Scarecrows
ENOSBURG FALLS – With sightings of the troublesome jeezum crows increasing, some store are running out of protective measures against the obnoxious corvids. On Tuesday […]
Local Parents Publicly Shout Lies to Their Children
BURLINGTON – A group of local parents spent Saturday morning at a public park shouting lies to their children in front of a crowd of […]
Letter to the Editor of The Winooski From the Merpeople of Lake Champlain
Late Wednesday evening, human Burlingtonian and fan of The Winooski Ethel Merman discovered a notice scrawled on a piece of driftwood from our heretofore unknown ichthyoid […]
Vermont Bird Watchers Discover New Type of Bird, Dubbed the “Jeezum Crow”
ADDISON – State ornithologist Robin Redd preempted local access television programming across the state yesterday to confirm what many Vermont natives have long suspected: that […]
Survey: 84% of Americans Don’t Know What State Vermont is In
WHITE RIVER JUNCTION – A national poll conducted by RSG (Resource Systems Group) has found that 84% of Americans are not sure which state Vermont […]
Safety Advocates Move to Ban Umbrellas After School Lockdown
LYNDONVILLE – An advocacy group made up of local parents and other community members has set their sights on umbrellas after a safety incident that […]
New Study By Vaping Companies Finds Link Between Vaping and Smoking “Total Coincidence”
MONTPELIER – New research shows that Vermont’s rising smoking rates have nothing to do with the popularity of vaping, according to a new joint study […]
Crop Circles in the Shape of Ethan Allen Appear in Sheldon Fields
SHELDON – You don’t need to go to the English countryside to see crop circles anymore. Now you can see them right here in Vermont, […]
Horror Movie Lobby Convinces State To Pull Rural Cell Phone Coverage
MONTPELIER – If you think it’s safe to assume you’ll have cell phone service while driving down that dusty back road towards that lone gas […]