The Winooski

The Winooski

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Month: May 2017

St. Albans Man Bill Covfefe Thrust Into National Spotlight

May 31, 2017 The Winooski 2

ST. ALBANS – It all began at 12:106 AM, with a typically muddled tweet from the resident of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. The message itself seemed […]

Sen. Leahy Vows to Fight For 100 Year Term Limits

May 30, 2017 The Winooski 0

WASHINGTON – Vermont Senator Patrick Leahy announced this week that he will sponsor a bill that would limit members of congress to no more than […]

President Gives Memorial Day Speech, Pays Tribute to Vermont Soldiers

May 29, 2017 The Winooski 1

WASHINGTON – The Republican president of the United States gave a speech earlier today, ostensibly to pay tribute to America’s fallen warriors on this solemn […]

Fish and Wildlife Department Extends Sea Monster Season to Two Weeks

May 28, 2017 The Winooski 1

MONTPELIER – The Vermont Fish and Wildlife Department has announced that this year’s hunting and trapping season for sea monsters will expand to two full weeks, […]

Fletcher Free Library Becomes Epicenter of Turf War for Local Gangs

May 27, 2017 The Winooski 1

BURLINGTON – The once peaceful Fletcher Free Library, the largest library in the state, has become the scene of daily violence as rival factions attempt to […]

Vermont 2017 Teacher of the Year Credits Her Success to Fidget Spinners

May 26, 2017 The Winooski 1

EAST MONTPELIER – Vermont’s 2017 Teacher of the Year, Kate McCann, is a high school mathematics teacher at U-32 High School. We recently got the […]

Governor Scott Vetoes Restaurant Choice After Family Places Orders

May 25, 2017 The Winooski 1

MONTPELIER – While staring at the menu at Positive Pie pizzeria and listening to his family place their dinner orders, Governor Phil Scott informed his […]

Middlebury Closes All Roads, Urges Drivers to Use Otter Creek

May 24, 2017 The Winooski 2

MIDDLEBURY – Motorists trying to get through Middlebury are in for a nasty shock starting on Friday, as the town is planning to begin construction […]

Bennington Man Unsure If He Lives in the North or the South

May 23, 2017 The Winooski 0

BENNINGTON – Geography can be confusing, at least according to Dave Thompson of Bennington. Thompson tells reporters that he cannot figure out if he lives […]

Vermont Rated “Most Religious State” After Vermont Brewers Association Files for Religious Status

May 22, 2017 The Winooski 2

BURLINGTON – In a stunning reversal of statistics Vermont, once dubbed the “least religious state in America” by a 2011 Gallup poll, has shot to […]

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