The Winooski

The Winooski

Locally Sourced Organic Vermont Satire

  • Home
  • Vermont Life
    • Burlington
    • Montpelier
    • Southern Vermont
  • National
  • South Canada
  • Syrup & Cows
  • Contact

National

South Canadians Join Allied Forces As Troops Liberate Texas Concentration Camps

June 26, 2019 The Winooski 0

TEXAS – In a surprise move by allied forces, troops have landed on the shores of Texas in a massive amphibious military assault, breaking through […]

South Canadian President Challenges Donald Trump to a Fight in the UFC Octagon

June 15, 2019 The Winooski 1

SOUTH CANADA – In a tweet that most initially assumed was a joke, President Charlene “Skunk” Bedard of South Canada has challenged US President Donald […]

US Women’s Soccer Team Agrees to Wear Prosthetic Penises in Exchange for Higher Salaries

June 12, 2019 The Winooski 1

CHICAGO – After winning the Women’s World Cup this week the US Women’s National Soccer Team may be getting a rise in salary, thanks to […]

Americans Honor Those Who Died For Freedoms They Are Giving Away

May 27, 2019 The Winooski 1

WINOOSKI – Vermonters join today with millions of other Americans in celebrating the lives and sacrifices of all those who died, fighting for freedoms that […]

Lincoln Reverses Course, Will Allow South to Secede

May 16, 2019 The Winooski 0

WASHINGTON – In a stunning turnaround that goes against everything he once fought for, former president Abraham Lincoln has announced that he regrets fighting to […]

Vermont, China? – U.S. Trade Deal Swaps States

May 11, 2019 Nadia Geddit 1

BEIJING – Among the surprises in the new trade agreement with China is the exchange of Meihekou, part of the Jilin Prefecture which borders North […]

Fox Cancels Trump Presidency Show Due To Low Ratings; Appoints Kim Jong-Un As Replacement

April 29, 2019 The Winooski 0

Fox Media announced today that it is cancelling the Trump Presidency Show due to low ratings. “We don’t know what went wrong,” said Oliver North, […]

Millionaire Bernie Sanders Tells Angry Mob of Revolutionaries “Let Them Write Books”

April 23, 2019 The Winooski 1

WASHINGTON – Speaking from a balcony in Washington DC this week, Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders was confronted by an angry crowd of supporters, who questioned […]

A Sheepish Bernie Sanders Attempts to Return His Tax Refund to the US Government

April 15, 2019 The Winooski 0

BURLINGTON – Reports have come in that US Senator and presidential hopeful Bernie Sanders has received a larger than usual tax refund and is attempting […]

New Data Shows People Who Spend All Their Money Have Less Money Remaining

March 28, 2019 The Winooski 0

WINOOSKI – In a stunning revelation that is changing everything about how Americans look at finance, a new study released last week has shown that […]

Posts navigation

« 1 … 6 7 8 … 16 »

The Winooski E-mail Updates!

Check out the best of The Winooski over at VTDigger!

Other Places to Find Us

  • View thewinooski’s profile on Facebook
  • View thefakewinooski’s profile on Twitter
  • View thewinooski’s profile on Instagram

Recent Posts

  • Texas Legislature Passes Emergency “Don’t Say Gun” Law May 25, 2022
  • Burlington Announces New High School To Be Built at 1 North Avenue August 19, 2021
  • Syrup & Cows #207 – 5/24/21 – First Day Back May 24, 2021
  • Syrup & Cows #206 – 5/16/21 – The Search Continues May 16, 2021
  • Syrup & Cows #205 – 5/9/21 – Unrecognizable May 9, 2021

Recent Comments

  • Strangest Laws in Vermont - Liner Law on Six Weird Vermont Laws You Have to Read to Believe
  • 2inscrutable on Breaking News: Other States Also Have Weather
  • Robert on Six Weird Vermont Laws You Have to Read to Believe
  • Hugh Kidden on Burlington Announces New High School To Be Built at 1 North Avenue
  • Randy Fullam on Burlington Announces New High School To Be Built at 1 North Avenue

Back Issues

Copyright © 2025 | WordPress Theme by MH Themes