South Canadians Join Allied Forces As Troops Liberate Texas Concentration Camps
TEXAS – In a surprise move by allied forces, troops have landed on the shores of Texas in a massive amphibious military assault, breaking through […]
National
South Canadian President Challenges Donald Trump to a Fight in the UFC Octagon
SOUTH CANADA – In a tweet that most initially assumed was a joke, President Charlene “Skunk” Bedard of South Canada has challenged US President Donald […]
US Women’s Soccer Team Agrees to Wear Prosthetic Penises in Exchange for Higher Salaries
CHICAGO – After winning the Women’s World Cup this week the US Women’s National Soccer Team may be getting a rise in salary, thanks to […]
Americans Honor Those Who Died For Freedoms They Are Giving Away
WINOOSKI – Vermonters join today with millions of other Americans in celebrating the lives and sacrifices of all those who died, fighting for freedoms that […]
Lincoln Reverses Course, Will Allow South to Secede
WASHINGTON – In a stunning turnaround that goes against everything he once fought for, former president Abraham Lincoln has announced that he regrets fighting to […]
Vermont, China? – U.S. Trade Deal Swaps States
BEIJING – Among the surprises in the new trade agreement with China is the exchange of Meihekou, part of the Jilin Prefecture which borders North […]
Fox Cancels Trump Presidency Show Due To Low Ratings; Appoints Kim Jong-Un As Replacement
Fox Media announced today that it is cancelling the Trump Presidency Show due to low ratings. “We don’t know what went wrong,” said Oliver North, […]
Millionaire Bernie Sanders Tells Angry Mob of Revolutionaries “Let Them Write Books”
WASHINGTON – Speaking from a balcony in Washington DC this week, Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders was confronted by an angry crowd of supporters, who questioned […]
A Sheepish Bernie Sanders Attempts to Return His Tax Refund to the US Government
BURLINGTON – Reports have come in that US Senator and presidential hopeful Bernie Sanders has received a larger than usual tax refund and is attempting […]
New Data Shows People Who Spend All Their Money Have Less Money Remaining
WINOOSKI – In a stunning revelation that is changing everything about how Americans look at finance, a new study released last week has shown that […]